Know a Man Looking For Work? Check My NPR Story

Hey Cocoa Fly Gals and Guys. Know any men ready to make a career change? Well, the occupational therapy (OT) field is hiring. "What's that?," you ask. Go check out my story I reported for NPR's Morning Edition. You need a college degree to be a therapist. FYI: This was cut out of the script, but there are job opportunities in OT for people with associate degrees also. Listen here.

Black Blogger Pretends to be White Woman On Dating Site OkCupid

If I only I thought of this. Regardless, blogger Kia Matthews rocks for conducting this experiment.

A few months ago OkCupid released a study result showing how many responses women received based on race. And black women seem to get the least responses. Matthews was chatting about the results with another OkCupid user when he jokingly suggest she should pose as a white woman and see if more men responded to her. Erin, one of Mathews readers, donated her image for dating science and Matthews went undercover as a white woman. In my opinion I think Erin and Kia are both cute girls. The main difference between the two is race and body size. Kia is black and curve-a-licious. Erin is white and slim. Matthews writes on The Frisky she didn't see a shift in quantity on her white profile, but quality:
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Team Conan, Team Jay and the Age Divide

God willing, one day I'll be 60 years old. If I'm still a journalist and good at my job, why should I sit down because of my age? Why retire if I continue to get awards or break big stories? So many people are mad at Jay Leno, 59, and saying he's old and should pass the mic to Conan O'Brien. But Carson hosted the Tonight Show for 30 years. I remember when Carson stepped down, people thought he still had a few years in him. I've also read people comment on blogs that Jay is wrong for taking over the Tonight Show again due to Conan's low ratings. But, let's backtrack. If you watched Jay, he complained in his Tonight Show monologue for years about being #1 in late night and getting the boot from NBC. It didn't sound like he left willfully. And I question, did Conan feel funny about unseating Jay Leno? Maybe he did at first but let's keep it real. Conan packed his family, staff and headed to LaLa Land. What's the difference between him taking the job and Jay taking the job back? I don't dismiss Conan for pursuing an opportunity few comics will ever experience. It's show business, with the emphasis on business. NBC reportedly handed Conan to the Tonight Show throne because execs wanted to lock in a younger audience and keep Conan in the NBC family. Good idea, but a major fail. You know why Jay was still on top of his game on the Tonight Show? The Baby Boomers. NBC made the mistake of neglecting the Baby Boomers and concentrating on Gens X and Y when they promoted Conan. The Baby Boomers like Jay Leno and still watch TV. And HELLO, a lot of them living. Many people my parents age grew up on Johnnie Carson and like Jay Leno's corny jokes. Which is why Letterman ratings shot up once Leno took a 10pm time slot. I don't think a lot of them get Conan's humor. By the way, NBC is also making a big mistake of not giving Conan a chance to boost his ratings.

There's no point being mad at either Jay or Conan because they're making tens of millions of dollars a year for being funny. Shows you how much we appreciate school teachers and police officers doesn't it? I'm more concerned about the everyday people who get laid off from their jobs because of the economy, discrimination and outsourcing. Jay and Conan are going to be alright. But the average Joes, Juans and Kieshas of the country are in trouble. I'm talking about those who worked 40 years for a company and were cut because it's cheaper to replace them with a 21-year-old or a machine. They might not be alright after finding a pink slip in their mailbox. And speaking of Juan and Keisha, a person of color nor a woman has yet to sit behind the Tonight Show desk.

I'm Team Leno and Team Conan. Both are funny. Both were screwed by the peacock. It sucks and it happens all of the time, especially in Hollywood. So Jay, Conan don't go into the new season with personal attacks against each other. NBC caused this drama. You learned a hard lesson preached in the streets everyday, "Don't hate the player. Hate the game."

You Need To Know.... Andy Allo

You may not have heard of Andy Allo. But you’ve definitely seen her pretty face and funky afro on such ads as the U.S Post Office, BlackPeopleMeet.com and Toyota. The sista can sell cars and stamps. But what she definitely has me sold on is her music. Allo makes an impressive musical debut with her album UnFresh. Her sweet and soulful voice is candy to the ears. Allo shares her stories of life and love through a passionate blend of hip hop, neo-soul and alternative. Or as she likes to call it, alter-hip-soul. Only 22, the Cameroonian-born model and actress now has singer, songwriter and executive producer to her long list of talents. Allo financed the independent project on her own when she was 21. And don’t think her album sounds like something recorded in her mama’s garage. Nope. Nothing but studio-quality sounds on UnFresh. Allo’s album was born in the same studio where Tony! Toni! Tone! created some of their hits.

I met up with Allo at a Starbucks in Hollywood. She greeted me with a bright smile and halo of hair. Her model frame was working a fitted black leather jacket and sparkly scarf. Allo is new to LA. She moved to Sacramento, Calif from Cameroon nine years ago. Her mother is a white American and her father, whom she’s named after, is a black African. FYI Allo means hello in French. It’s fitting for her bubbly personality. But when it’s time to talk business, she gets serious. Allo and I chatted up about Cameroon, caring for a sick parent in high school and her career.
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Girl Where You Been?

This is my favorite piece by one of my favorite artists Brenda Joysmith. It reminds me of when I was little girl. I used to love running around in my white slip when I was a kid. And I've always been a thinker. When I see this piece, I see myself. And if you look at the picture, you'll get an idea of the mental and spiritual place I've been in lately. Visit the Joysmith Gallery to see more of her work. I know this beautiful piece of work, doesn't answer where I've been.

Well, I've been home to see my mamma. I've been to the movies to see Precious and Up In The Air. I've been over my grandmothers' homes. I've been eating my grandfathers' hoghead cheese and pigs feet. Don't judge. I've been to the gym too. I've been catching up with friends I haven't seen and spoken to in years. I've been writing in my journal like crazy. I've been looking for story ideas. I've been painfully watching the crisis in Haiti and wondering why it's taking so long for those poor people to get aid. I've been turning away from the criris in Haiti because it reminds me of Katrina. But I've been to the Red Cross website to make a donation. I've been praying for those who lost their lives in that horrible earthquake. I've felt an earthquake that magnitude and it's scary as hell. And I know how it feels when hours pass and you haven't heard from loved ones. I've been thinking about the Dems pulled out a seat for Scott Brown, asked him if he wanted to start with an appetizer and gave him the Senate victory. I've been wondering how many flips Ted Kennedy did in his grave. I've been confused as to why so many people are mad at Jay Leno. I've been thankful. I've been listening to new artist, Andy Allo's CD UnFresh, which is hella fresh by the way. Check out my interview with her above. I've been stepping up my game. I've been thinking about what's next for Cocoa Fly. I've been clearing my head. I've been...around.

Justice on New Year's: Oscar Grant Rally and Vigil

I hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. This Christmas was one of the best for me and it had nothing to do the with the gifts I received, but just laughing and reminiscing with family. And I'm getting some good hog-head cheese and R&R. I'll tell you about that in my next post.

I imagine this holiday hasn't been easy for Oscar Grant's family. Grant,22, was shot in the back and killed by a BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) police officer early on New Year's Day 2009 in Oakland . He was returning from celebrating the New Year in San Francisco. On New Year's there will be PEACEFUL events happening in Oakland to remember Grant and speak against police brutality. If you're in the Bay Area, here's where you can show your support on January 1, 2010:

2-5 pm Family Vigil at the Fruitvale BART station in Oakland

5-6pm Rally at the Fruitvale Village in Oakland (this is in the same area as the Fruitvale BART station)

6-11pm Gathering at Humanist Hall 411 28th Street, above Downtown Oakland

Have a safe and blessed New Year. Thank you to everyone who reads Cocoa Fly. I'll be making fly changes to Cocoa Fly in 2010 and I can't wait to bring you more FLY content in the New Year.

Box Office or Bootleg Disney's Princess Tiana Is My Kind of Woman

Sunday afternoon I checked my frustrations with LA holiday traffic and other 30-year-old woman woes at the movie theater door. I channeled the 7-year-old girl inside of me who used to parade around her house in a white-sequin tiara and a flower girl dress she outgrew. That day, I was ready to go on this magical journey to New Orleans. Finally, a black Disney princess. Finally, an American princess. Finally, The Princess and the Frog.

You can't help but fall for the heroine. Tiana (Anika Noni Rose) is beautiful and embodies the American dream. She's a hard working girl, taking on a few waitress shifts to help fund her and her father's dream of owning a restaurant. She believes in the American principle "with hard work comes success." Tiana isn't like other Disney damsels waiting for Prince Charming to rescue them (sorry Cinderella). For Tiana, men can wait. Business comes first. This is completely opposite of Prince Naveen's (Bruno Campos) life philosophy. The spoiled, lazy royal is cut off from mommy and daddy's fortune. He travels to New Orleans looking to marry a rich woman (Now I ain't sayin' he's a gold digger...). Instead he meets the Shadow Man (Keith David), an evil Voodoo doctor, and is turned into a frog. Tiana gives the froggy Naveen some sugar to break the spell, only to be turned into one herself. During their lily pad adventure, Naveen shows Tiana it's okay to make room for love and fun in her life. While she teaches Naveen the gift of responsibility and independence.

I love Tiana for her determination and heart. I love her because she's a woman from a lower-class neighborhood with a lot of class. I love her for being a good daughter and a big dreamer. I appreciate how her character redefines the notion of "princess" through her independent spirit. The little girl in me loves Tiana because she looks like me. Full lips, wide nose, brown skin just like me. Tiana could be my mother, my little sister, a friend, a cousin, you. I was so proud of her image I teared up. I couldn't help myself. As a black woman, I've wanted to see a movie like this for so long. Media are powerful whether we like to admit it. Images have an effect on how individuals see others and themselves. I was absorbed into the storyline but I still had my racism/sexism radar on and Princess Tiana passed the test for me.



I enjoyed the film. However, it does not wow me like Beauty and the Beast or Lion King. The writers should have given Voodoo Priestess Mama Odie (Jenifer Lewis) more scenes. She is so much fun to watch. The face off with the Shadow Man is not very climactic, compared to suspenseful villain showdowns from movies like The Little Mermaid or Sleeping Beauty. But the Shadow Man is wonderfully sinister and creepy. I liked how Disney writers made New Orleans a central character. The movie tries to represent the soul of the city with bright colors, food, people and of course music. Jazz and gospel gave vibrancy to the story. The charachters' Southern accents made the setting feel more authentic. One of the shining co-stars is Tiana's friend Charlotte (Jennifer Cody). She is a wealthy socialite and obsessed with finding a prince. She is hilarious and reminds me of a girlfriend always on the prowl for a man. We all know someone like Charlotte.

I am disappointed Tiana stays a frog most of the movie. I wanted to see more of her pretty face and poise, but Disney made the amphibian storyline work. She and the frog prince are able to see past their slimy bodies and fall in love. True to Disney canon, we're reminded to love someone for what's on the inside and not the exterior. I relearned that lesson during the movie because I had prejudgments about the Bayou firefly Ray. His missing teeth and ragged whiskers screamed "coonery" when I first saw pictures of him on the web. I had a change of heart during the film. The snagga-tooth insect is adorable. I still think the Disney artists should have given the brotha a dental plan, but Ray is one of my favorites.

This a fun movie for the young and old. Although Disney is one of the largest media companies in the world, save some of your bootleg money for popcorn. Brave the cold and take the kids to a matinee. It's worth the fun and Disney magic in a theater is priceless. Speaking of Disney magic, true story, my mother told me she opened her front door yesterday. There was a little frog sitting on her porch. How did a frog end up in the hood in East Oakland? Either this was a coincidence or Disney is taking their marketing to another level. In case you're wondering, my mom didn't kiss it.


If you saw the movie, SPEAK YOUR MIND and share your opinion.

Fly Lady of Day Remembering Norma Fox Mazer

Norma Fox Mazer wasn't just a good writer. She was a great storyteller who cemented captivating tales in our hearts for more than forty years. The young- adult novelist died from brain cancer in October at 78.

I met Mazer in 2003 at Bennington College in Vermont. We were there for the National Book Foundation's summer writing camp. Mazer was a writing mentor and I was a fellow. I've had some cruel writing teachers in my career, but Mazer was fair. She sat in one of my workshops to offer feedback. Reading your work in front of strangers to be publicly critiqued is not easy. I don't care how long you've been a writer. Mazer gave honest criticism that didn't put you down, but made you a better writer.

Another thing that struck me about Mazer was her humbleness. I remember two girls and I were eating lunch and she asked if she could join us. An award winning writer asked to sit with us newbies?,I thought. She was not cocky, but I imagine self-assured. A woman with true self-confidence doesn't have to brag about her successes. Mazer asked us about our hair and complimented our styles. One had locs, the other girl and I sported cornrows. I remember her saying something about her hair being thin and she couldn't wear our kind of styles. I told her that's why fake hair exists and I had extensions. She was amused. As we all talked about writing and her career I noticed Mazer was filled with wonder and a youthful spirit. That energy kept her looking young because the girls and I were shocked when she told us her age. Mazer didn't look 72 at all. The photo posted is how I remember her and that does not look like a woman in her 70s. Young-adult literature was her calling.

One of the girls I lunched with that day told me Mazer passed away. We are both still writing. Mzer's stories and words ignited the imaginations and hearts of many young people. She wasn't afraid to touch upon heavy themes like death, secrets or divorce. The special thing about being a writer is long after you're gone, your words still have breath for generations to come. I have a tween sister and I can't wait to introduce her to Norma Fox Mazer.

Read New York Times Obituary here.

Did Tiger Woods Do Black Women a Favor?

First off what Tiger Woods did with his pack of jumpoffs is not racial. He's a cheating husband which last I checked crosses all color lines. What he has done to his wife and children is just plain sad. There are many lessons to be learned from this hot- mess- on- a -platter scandal. But today I want to talk to my sistas. Particularly, my sistas who can't stand to see a black man with a non-black woman. And don't let him be an educated, rich black man who is down with the swirl. Some of my sistas have steam coming out of their ears just thinking about it.

Here's the lesson from Tiger Gate: Don't judge a brotha with a non-black woman because you don't know what's really going on in their relationship. I know some of my sistas are disgusted with Tiger because he doesn't seem to date black women, nor sleep with them. I've even heard people complain, "Damn, he couldn't have had an affair with at least one black woman?" Hell no and I thank him for not sleeping with a black woman. Black, white, brown, purple--why would any woman share a bed with him after this? I remember when Woods first married his wife. Go to a black beauty salon back then and many sistas shared the same feeling: If only he married a black woman, made pretty black babies and took the Huxtable family dream into the stratosphere. Fast forward to today and some of you have a different stand. The grass isn't always greener in Cablasia. Money, fame and influence can't heal their family. Woods has a problem keeping it zipped. There's an international AIDS epidemic going on and black women are at high risk for so many STDs. The last thing a sista needs to do is make a visit to the clinic because Tiger allegedly sleeps with any thing who winks at him. I pray for his wife's sake he used protection when romping with these women. Then there's the embarrassment factor. What wife, aside from Kate Gosselin, wants their rocky marriage discussed all over the world? If Tiger never jumps on the black side of love, that's fine by me.


Tiger Woods has been inducted into my "Brothas I Wouldn't Date If They Went Back To Black Club." Other members include O.J. Simpson and Wesley Snipes. All successful, rich, handsome black men many of us would have loved to be their Mrs. But, wife batterers, killers and tax evaders just don't turn me on.

Sistas next time you see a handsome black man with a non-black woman don't give them the evil eye. He can date who he wants and you don't know the circumstances. The man could be husband of the year or no good, lying dirty dog of the year. Do yourself a favor. Drop the evil eye. Instead, look for the men around you who seem available and are checking you out. Or be thankful for the good man you have at home. Hopefully Tiger Woods does ALL women a favor for a while and keep his strokes on the golf course.

What Tiger Woods Scandal Teaches Us About People Desperate for Fame

I'm not going to spend an entire blog post shaking my finger at Tiger Woods. He's a grown man and knows sleeping with multiple women while married is wrong. But I have to call him out on two things. Tiger you married roughly at 28 years old. Dude, you're young, make a gazillion dollars and have women from here to Antarctica throwing panties at you. Why in the world would you get married so young? Obviously, you still like swinging your golf club on other courses. Sorry, I couldn't resist. Another thing, why in the world would you leave a digital trail of text and voice mails on your jump off's (that's slang for someone used strictly for sex) cellphone in this media-frenzy age? Plus you said your name on the voice mail message?! , "Hey it's Tiger....my wife may be calling you..." Come on T. LOL You act like Tiger is as common as the name Harry.


Enough of Tiger. The problem I have with this scandal are the jumpoffs. I'm ready for a ban on fame whoring. I'm tired of women having sex with famous men and blabbing about their home wrecking. They disgust me. Remember the days when the other woman slept with the married man, kept it to herself, then maybe wrote a book about it after he died? Oh, I miss the 80s. If you're going to creep around with these married keep it to yourself. Self-pimping to get a taste of fame is W-R-O-N-G. People today are so obsessed with fame because you don't need talent to be a leading story on Entertainment Tonight. Either lay down, make a sex tape and get peed on, crash a White House party, cheat on your wife and 8 kids or all of the above. Then you're rewarded with a reality show or a book deal. Something isn't right about this. Is Jaimee Grubbs, the LA cocktail waitress who released the voice mail, proud of herself for sleeping with a married man and father? If she does shoot to stardom after this scandal, all I'll see is a woman who sleeps, tell and sells... her story. Media prostitution at its finest. Then there's Rachel Uchitel, a VIP nightclub manager who denies an affair with Tiger. She's the alleged mistress we first heard about. What does Miss Rachel do to stay out of the limelight? Fly to Hollywood, hire high-profile attorney Gloria Allred and wear sunglasses to popular restaurants where paparazzi scope out stars. It's fame phenes like Grubbs, Jon Gosselin and other women claiming Tiger pounced them, who are desperate to walk the corners of TMZ Blvd and Enquirer Drive for any attention. They may be able to charge thousands of dollars for a 15-minute romp with fame. After the tabloids leave the money on the night stand, these "fame walkers" will probably spend up their earnings in a Gucci minute. If they're not smart. Then it's on to the next hi-profile Joe Blow.

Tiger pays the biggest price in all of this mess he started-- possibly ruining his family. He's lucky. On the night of his car accident, Tiger could've paid the same price as Steve McNair. Will they ever learn?